Let me drown Let me down
by Interstella
Summary: Let me drown, let me down, let me die. L's fate. Contains L's real name, kinda dark. Strange concepts. Full summary inside. What happens when the user of a Death Note dies? L's point of view.-COMPLETE


A/N: I got bored. I wanted to do an FMV, but my computer was being bitchy and I couldn't think of a song, so I made one up. Now I can't sing, nor play instruments, so you'll have to forgive me turning it into a fic....

Roleplayer? Mail me.

A dark fic...

This has L's real name in it. If you don't want to know, then don't read. I won't take it personally-I understand. It also has spoilers up to episode 25 (I think). Pretty much, it's about L's fate. It has a kind of semi-believable back story to something that happened in L's childhood that I thought of a little while ago. If you wanna use this concept for a larger/longer fic, please, be my guest, but let me know where it is when posted so I can read it ^^. As far as I know, I am the first to come up with this idea, but if I am wrong, please let me know.

It's kinda dark. 1st person. Kinda out of character, but I blame the fact that he is stressed.

No Beta. You have been warned.

**Let me Drown**

_Let me drown_

_Let me down_

_Let me die_

_Take me back to my grave_

_Don't let me fade away_

_Remember who I am_

_My face_

_My name_

_The words left unspoken_

_With the power to change the world_

_Let me drown_

_Let me down_

_Let me die_

_Saviour of Souls, _

_bringer of peace. _

_Kira, _

_Rescue me._

_You were my friend_

_My one and only_

_You were the only one_

_I let see me_

_The name you knew me by_

_The face you saw_

_That was all you needed to_

_Let me drown_

_Let me down_

_Let me die._

_Take me back to my grave_

_Don't forget_

_Don't let my memory fade_

_Save me one last time_

**Let me drown**

My days are numbered. I know that. I watch in fascination as I take the note, the shinigami appearing before my eyes, tall, white, yet hunched over, like protecting something. She stands like I do.

I was careful to mask my real reaction, instead, turning it to more surprise. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to think that their existence could be real. But now, as I see the majestic creature before me, I realize, there is no more denying it. Before Light can remove the book from my hands, I tare a corner of a page and place it in the waist of my jeans, making it touch my skin. I don't want to loose my memories before getting to the bottom of this.

We're all back at headquarters now. Matsuda said something about wishing that he had never touched the book. I can't help but agree with him. If I had never touched that book, my memories from so long ago would have remained buried, deep within my subconscious. I once again look at Rem and recall her face from before. She hasn't changed.

I look around me, everybody is looking at the book in a shocked awe, with mild contempt and disgust. The last rule is read aloud and I frown.

That's not right. I don't remember there being a 13 day rule. Else I would have died many years ago. I try to catch Rem out, asking her if all the rules are true. She lies to me- well, she never had a problem with that before, so why not now. I look curiously to Light, and see that he is still not giving anything away.

I have to solve this. And get rid of Rem once again. With a sigh, I return to my work.

---

It's a few days later, when I look into his eyes, and notice that he is smiling. The power cuts and I instantly know why. It isn't a surprise. I knew this was coming, but yet, I still feel betrayed. My only friend, Yagami Light, is Kira. And now, Kira has killed L.

"Watari!" I call into the com, knowing it to be useless. I explain to everyone how I made Watari delete any data should anything unexpected happen to him. As much as I tired to protect him, I also figured this to be a probability. He understood, and stood by me.

Perhaps Yagami Light wasn't my only friend.

As I stare up at him, I see him grin before realization seems to hit him and he cries out. I close my eyes, letting oblivion take me.

Good-night Light, good-bye Rem. I mutter into my mind.

And then I'm floating, riding on the air as if there is nothing around me, just this dark nothingness.

A word is spoken from all around me, no discernable position could be located as to its source. It comes again. A word so familiar to me, yet one I have not heard since childhood, from a voice I do not recognise.

"Lawliet." My name. My real name.

"Lawliet." It comes again, "Open your eyes, L Lawliet."

So I do. When I do, I realize I'm not floating, I'm flying! It's an odd sensation, like I am being heaved from the land- no, like the land is being pulled away from me. I look to my back, and find wings, long, white wings. Looking down at my hands, I see not nails, but claws.

"Ah, you have awoken," I look to my side to see a shinigami flying beside me. "You are Rem's replacement, no?"

I try to talk, but find my mouth in an odd place. Bringing a clawed hand up to touch it, I find a strange sort of half beak. What must I look like?

"Ah, you are." The shinigami beside me nods. "I am Ryon. You're gonna like it here, Lawliet. But first, you need a shinigami name." I look at him in shock. A shinigami name? That means that....

A memory returns to me.

_I was five years old, crying by the gates of the orphanage, standing beside an older girl that was lay unmoving on the ground. Rem was stood behind me. I can remember she placed a clawed hand on my arm and looked at me with sympathy. "I must warn you, Lawliet," she began. "The user of a Death Note may not go to heaven or hell, and will only receive pain and suffering through its use." _

_I remember looking at her, tears pouring from my eyes as I took the book out of my bag. The black book was heavy and large to my youthful self, and I had to hold it with both hands. I looked down at it. "Then why did you give it to me?" I asked. "Why me?"_

"_It was an accident, young one. The book should never be with someone with such innocence. But you picked it up." Rem answered with a shrug. "And it will remain yours until you die, or you give it up. And yet, if you do that, you will forget having ever met me."_

It took me two more weeks to finally give up that book. And I had thought it was for good. Yet, now here I am, in the realm of the shinigami. I turn to Ryon and manage to talk. "Is this what is meant, by the user of a Death Note may not go to heaven nor hell?" I ask, to which my new companion nods.

"Yush. Sorry dude. Hey I got it! You're shinigami name can be Ryuuzak. You went by the name Ryuuzaki back on the human world no? Then it should be simple to adapt yes?"

"And you can just choose that for me?" I ask in slight disbelief. Ryon nods again.

So here I am. I am now Ryuuzak, the shinigami. I spend my days watching over the human lake, watching one man in particular. The one who calls himself Kira. He'll join us soon, in the realm of the shinigami, he will become one of us. I can see it. He has less than three days left. It has been decided that I will be his mentor, just as Ryon was for me. I will choose his Shinigami name, and teach him what it is to be among us.

For this is where the Death Note users come to after death. We become shinigami.


End file.
